Web Discovery: False Rape Society

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  1. I write this comment respectfully and not in a spirit of hostility.

    I make no pretense that the False Rape Society tells the rape story; that does not mean we think rape is an significant problem.

    We tell one piece of the rape story, that’s all. I would prefer that sites dealing with rape tell the entire story, but since the vast majority of sites dealing with the subject not only ignore false rape claims but go so far as to insist they are a myth, there is a necessity for our site.

    Sadly, your site appears to be one of those that insist it is a myth.

    I rarely respond to allegations against our website, and I suspect that no response will change your mind because, respectfully, you seem content to preaching to the choir and have posited sweeping assertions with no authority beyond your serene ipse dixit.

    For example, you assert that our site “misuses statistics to fuel misogyny.” That, of course, is a hell of a strong statement to blithely toss out without support.

    Would you care to debate the matter?

    I say this respectfully, because you are coming from a perspective that may not appreciate it: your insensitivity to the wrongly accused would be triggering to the countless guys I hear from who are going through a false rape ordeal

    If our site is inaccurate in any respect, I’d like to hear it because we do not have a monopoly on the truth – thefrs@ymail.com

    I seriously hope that you never have a husband, father, boyfriend, brother or friend who is wrongly accused of this vile crime. I have heard repeatedly from men who have gone through it that it is the worst experience of their lives. If you could see the emails I get, especially from mothers whose sons are going through a false rape ordeal, it might actually make you more sensitive to the problem.

    Does giving voice to these men and boys in any way detract from actual rape victims? Does this in any sense minimize the problem of rape? The question scarcely survives its statement.

    In fact, ignoring the problem hurts rape victims. One of the recurring themes in the false rape milieu is that false rape claims hurts actual rape victims. This sentiment is raised time and time again by sexual assault advocates and law enforcement officials. If this is true (and it is), then it is beyond me why persons supposedly devoted to raising awareness about rape stick their heads in the sand and think the problem will just go away. If these sexual assault advocates are correct, refusing to confront false rape claims — refusing to try to eliminate them — is only hurting actual rape victims.

    Here’s the bottom line: it is unfathomable to me why rape/false rape claims must be all-or-nothing, as if we are competing in a victim’s Olympics. No one can state with any degree of certainty how many rape claims are false — no one. But every unbiased study shows that false claims are a real problem, and that’s enough for me. Why can’t you acknowledge, as I do, that rape is a serious problem, and that false rape claims happen too frequently? Why can’t you acknowledge that the falsely accused need a voice, too — maybe not a voice as loud as rape victims need, but they need a voice — and that it is morally grotesque to be insensitive to their plight.

    Sadly, I suspect that you will go on doing what you do, happily preaching to the choir. I have repeatedly offered to shut my site down if some of the big feminist sites would simply give voice to te wrongly accused and treat their plight fairly. And I am serious — I’d be happy to hear your criticisms – thefrs@ymail.com (And, yeah, I know — that would consorting with the devil so my guess is you won’t do it.)

    By the way, our site links to sites that promote our message and is not necessarily an endorsement of them. It would be nice if the sites that deal with rape would link to us.

    • Ann said

      Thank you for responding so politely. I have the same intension in mind, my alien brother.
      I would detour someone away from you site because it can be interpreted badly by someone who is apposed to feminism. I am involved with a Take Back the Night planning committee which is a sexual assault awareness rally and march. The founding chair of the committee works for our local SART (Sexual Assault Response Team) and is a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE). She equally supports the reality of rape of women as well as men. And I always give the male and female statistics as well. What I’m saying is that I am not JUST about women’s equality. I am not a stereotypical feminist and I don’t support a stereotypical feminist awareness rally.
      The post I made was the negative side of the argument and in response to the fear I felt. I really cut it short of the whole debate. I wanted to added the positive and wonderful ideas that I support like the view of rape as a heinous crime. I truly see how criminalizing the act of falsely claiming rape would impact sexual assault. And here I must apologize for posting negatively and (I do smile embarrassedly at this point) falsely.
      It was out of fear for this power to be used against the feminist movement. There is much sexism against women on the internet. I admit to the sexism in the prejudgment, marginalization, and discrimination of your blog. I want to empower men’s support to end sexual assault. You site shocked me because I did not think such a society existed. I stress the power for it to be used against the women’s movement and admit the power it has to help. I should have not cut my post short. My blog only exists because it is a class assignment for my Women’s Studies class. I promise I am not the fool I appear in the post.
      How frequently do you have to send out e-mails like this, and what is the majority of the response like?
      Do you know of mencanendrape.org
      Peace be with you. Namaste.

      • Naomi said

        Good job, Anne, on your response.

    • Ann said

      I deleted my original post even though I apologized in my reply because I did not want to promote that attitude towards your cause any further. I want this debate to be the focus as this is the reality.
      I want to emphasize the effect being linked with anti-feminist sites has on the perception of the False Rape Society. Because your information is used on sites that are anti-feminist, the False Rape Society can be used against feminism though the Society itself is not anti-feminist. Like you said, rape sites should link to yours, but I don’t see that happening because of the anti-feminist links. I also said that your site is misdirected energy because of the connection to anti-feminism. I think being associated with other organizations would better you chances of being taken seriously at first glance. And I will note that I did not look at all of your links just the ones that seems extreme. I understand that those falsely accused of rape are going to be angry. However, this cannot be associated with the hatred of women just as feminism is not about the hatred of men though women are sometimes angry.
      Do you see my point?
      Thank you for taking your time to read my thoughts.

  2. REL said

    I think I agree with his idea that false rape accusations are harmful to rape victims. We have all of this awareness out now about rape and rape prevention and we’re teaching young girls (like we should) but those that use it as a weapon or a means for attention and then it’s proven that they haven’t been raped, only make it more likely for someone to tell the girl that has been raped that she’s lying because girl A was lying, which also discourages people from speaking up. I mean who would want to go through the public scrutiny of being called a liar, about a sex crime? We don’t teach the gravity of the situation but at the same time it’s a difficult thing to teach because unless you’ve experienced it, you can’t understand. Then there is also the fact that society has made it into a socially humorous thing, telling rape jokes is okay, the whole if you rape a prostitute is that consider shoplifting gives me that little jolt of that’s not right. I think that now that we have awareness programs we need to extend them and somehow make them more hard hitting and real. People need to realize it’s not a joking matter, it’s not okay to lie about, and that women aren’t the only ones being affected.

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